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I do ... and I'm gone

From Thursday's Globe and Mail

With this ring ... they get residence status, then they leave ...Read the full article

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  1. Valkyrie 23 from Guelph, Canada writes: Umm... didn't we have an article on this already like two weeks ago? But either way, I find it hard to feel sorry for the first woman (the second woman I feel a bit of pity for). But really, maybe they should have gotten those guys to move over here of their own merit before marrying them? It's just not practical. If the guys come over here on her assistance, what's the assurance that (if he doesn't run off), he has the skills to have a job, he doesn't have a criminal record in his own country, and he isn't already married? Generally those are things you try to find out about someone BEFORE you marry them. Yes, I realize some people are con men, but there are things you can do to protect yourself. I'm sorry ladies, but you made a VERY poor judgement call and you should deal with it. Stop whining at the government to help you.
  2. S M from Canada writes: I agree in a way with the above, but I wonder if it is at all possible to live together before marriage in these cases. I mean, would the prospective husband be at all allowed into the country? Probably not - no job, no education (Canada needs). Quite possible the women can't stay in THAT country for the same reason. So they speed up the marriage because they (she) thinks it's going to happen anyway, so...
  3. diana diana from Toronto, Canada writes: I have been travelling to the Dominican for twenty years and this is really old news. I have watched Canadian woman down there and how ridiculously sad and desparate they are for a man it is such a pathetic joke among the Dominicans. White Canadian woman is their ticket to paradise - Canada. Really old news.
  4. Christian Patchell from Canada writes: Wasn't this the story line on Coronation Street a few years back?

    No, seriously. I read the above comments and have to say, 'Wow! We gals are so hard on each other.' I feel for these ladies. I mean, it's tempting to judge them but I think we've all been 'vulnerable' at one time or another. The difference is they got seduced and caught by a predator. Canadian laws should be better at pulling off these matrimonial leeches.
  5. Tom G from Canada writes: When it happens to a woman, it becomes news? Have you any idea how often this scam is perpetrated by women against men, from countries as disparate as Thailand, Columbia, Mexico, Japan--the list is as long as there are countries. What a web we weave...
  6. Bill Needle from Canada writes: Why should others have to carry the burden of the mistakes of these women. There are lots of couples with foreign born spouses who would not benefit in the least from a change in the laws. As far as I'm concerned if your married you are married and it should be easy to live together as a married couple. These women got burned but the law is clear. When you sponsor somebody it is a huge responsibility.
  7. Jacaranda Jill from Australia writes: Hey, it's not just women who are getting conned. A lot of guys are getting internet brides from Russia, Ukraine and who knows where - the guys fall for the good legs, nice looks, and especially the subservient manner, but can't even communicate enough to know the girl has five siblings and an aging mother back home that she intends to bring over in the first six months. And there's nothing like a Russian mother-in-law to make your life a delight.

    But no amount of warning, counselling or advice will do anything to change the situation - 'true love' conquers all. Sorry, but I'm not all that sympathetic to the 'betrayed' spouses of whatever gender - they've made the decision to sponsor someone for immigration, have guaranteed to provide support for a period of time, and should have to live up to that - why should the taxpayer have to cough up the support instead? Call it a bad investment, and deal with it.
  8. Paige Turner from United States writes: Track 'em down and toss them out of the country. No appeals, nothing! The bums don't deserve any kind of respect, whether they be male or female.
  9. Sue W from Canada writes: CIC needs to get it's act together and adopt similiar rules regarding a minimum residency requirement of immigrant spouses as U.S. and Australia. How difficult can it be...just ask to borrow the procedures manual from their immigration agencies. Cut. Copy. Paste. No need to hire expensive consultants to review the matter to death.

    And while they're at it they need to change the residency requirement for citizenship from 3 years to at least a minimum of 5 years.....and ensure that they in fact have resided in Canada.

    And while they're at it they need to stop giving out citizenship to babies born to non-resident-non-citizen foreign-nationals....

    And while they're at it, rewrite the laws which allow individuals who are to be deported to circumvent the process for years, decades, at taxpayers expense....

    It's not rocket science....and it' about time the people at the top started working for their annual bonuses.
  10. Josh Taylor from Dublin, Canada writes: First, extending regulations will only make it worse. Would you rather they walk out after two weeks or wait another 2 years?

    Secondly, many of these ladies like having control, in the form of citizenship, over there men. The fact that he can leave anytime makes it a normal relationship.

    This is no different than someone marrying for money. You have to be able to see through it. I wouldn't get married so fast if you can't...
  11. Gardiner Westbound from Canada writes: .
    There are 1,500 of these immigration marriage fraud cases a year! That's a lot of really dumb people. Perhaps there should be an I.Q. test to get a passport.
  12. Josh Taylor from Dublin, Canada writes: Bill Needle - you hit it on the head exactly. Why burden those that are legitimate. Why not lock everyone up to get the criminals...
  13. Buttery Popcorn from Canada writes: I agree that it was bad judgement- however- male or female, you are vulnerable when you let your heart rule your head. It must be pretty humiliating when it happens to you. Cudos to Ms. Green and Ms. Towell for using their own stories to bring light to this awful fraudulent behaviour. That took guts. Hopefully discussions on this will open up the eyes of people who RIGHT NOW are about to become the next victims.
  14. H Whelan from Canada writes: Buttery Popcorn, well said
  15. Justa Browser from Toronto, Canada writes: no sympathy whatsoever
  16. Yessi from Ottawa from Ottawa, Canada writes: Are you protesting your own stupidity or ... ?
  17. Reality Check from Ottawa, Canada writes: Legally, either partner can end a marriage at any time, no questions asked. So what if the resultant financial obligations work both ways. You get married, you take your chances.
  18. Loudan Bellicose from Canada writes: All citizenship, landed immigrant sttus, etc. should be conditional for say ten years. A condition of temporary residence should be that the person leave on deposit with the government enough money for a trip back to their country of origin.
    Should any fraud or criminality occur, instant deportation.
    They perpetrator should have the right of appeal but from their country of origin, not Canada and they could pay for the appeal themselves.
    Immigration Canada is joke.
  19. Melanie . from Canada writes: I do not appreciate that the globeandmail posted 'Many Canadians who sponsor a foreign spouse find themselves jilted' and proceed to report that the approximate number of people who are jilted is 1,500. That is a very small amount of the thousands of immigrants who arrive each year under the family reunification clause.

    Secondly, one of the reasons these people are protected after they leave the marriage is to protect potential victims. If someone immigrates here under the family reunification clause only to discover that their spouse is violent or physically abusive, they need to know that if they escape that relationship they wont be arrested.

    Thousands and thousands of legitamate couples immigrate every year, please do not paint them all with one brush.
  20. Another vicious kick right in the face from pop culture to human intelligence., writes: Free advice: Be more careful about who you marry.
  21. David P from Canada writes: I think for me, Canada needs to tighten up certain aspects of the immigration laws, and go in a direction that Australia has...it wouldn't need to take high priced consultants (not that Jason Kenney could read the reports anyway, we all know Harper doesn't like literate people around him), it could be done quickly, it could be enforced quickly and if they really wanted to, could make it retro active for a couple of years...

    I also agree with the idea that the people who come over here to get their citizenship and then bail as soon as they can, need to have their residency revoked, put on a plane and sent home...I'd rather pay $2K for that than the god knows how much to fight it in the courts...

    I also agree that if a non-citizen couple has a child here, the child is not Canadian. One of the parents needs to be Canadian or have lived here for an extended period (years, not months)...

    However, for the time being, I think that the govt can do something to prevent fraud, which ties up taxpayer money in courts and 2 years is not a reasonable time to wait, no matter what the intellectually challenged Jason Kenney has to say...
  22. Ghetto Dude from YorkGTA, Canada writes: How about revealing some more bitter facts? How many of these 1,500 Canadians are female? What is the average difference between the ages of Canadian women and of these 3rd world bridegrooms - can women be 20-30 even 40 years older? In what percentage of cases are Canadian women richer parties? How many marriages end up with Canadians relocating to those vacation paradise towns, can the answer be almost none? Why? What sort of a 'chemistry' it is that, the usual white western educated female victims always have it with 3rd world waiters, carpet vendors, DJs, bartenders and the like only? In addition to that 1,500 yearly fraudulent marriages, how many normal such marriages are there? Can the answer be very few?
  23. Lowen Wrainger from Canada writes: Isn't it amazing that as I type this comment, Google Ads for various foreign dating services and matchmaking appear in the right column. What is the globe really up to here by running this story?
    Question: If Love matches are made in Heaven, why do they only burn in Hell?
  24. B . from Canada writes: Most of the comments seem to blame the person who married the perpetrator in the first place. However, as the article points out, the Canadian taxpayer is actually the one who ends up losing big time, as these people bring in their relatives to Canada.

    The whole process of people coming in and especially getting rid of the bad ones needs to be a lot quicker.

    Also, families who come into Canada should have to stay in Canada to keep their citizenship. None of this getting a passport of convenience and then going back to your country of origin.

    It is a tricky business to be sure, but right now, it seems to allow too much for these people who would defraud.

    My wife went through the immigration process, but we're still together and I know the procedure.
  25. Anna Korenova from Czech Republic writes: Yeah, there's a sucker born every minute...
  26. Kevin Laven from Toronto, Canada writes: This article is looking in the wrong direction for a solution. This sort of fraud could be easily prevented by letting Canadians sponsor a fiancee to come into the country for a set period (say 1 year).

    As things currently stand, those in an international relationship don't have a lot of options for actually being together:

    1) They can visit, but this is VERY expensive, due to the cost of travel, the fact that the visitor can't work, and the need for private health insurance. The expense usually makes it impossible to see enough of each other this way to really see if a relationship will work.

    2) For some, they can apply to immigrate as a skilled worker, and hope to start their relationship in 2 to 3 years.

    3) They can get married, be together in 6 to 9 months, and hope for the best.

    If Canada were to institute a Fiancee Visa program (like the US has), international couples would have a way to spend enough time together to see if things will really work. Not only would this decrease marriage fraud (it would be much harder for a fraudster to be convincing for a full year than for a few visits), it would also make life much easier for the tens of thousands of legitimate couples looking for a way to test their relationship.
  27. Marvel murray from Hollywood California, Canada writes: Women you know it is a rule to check your future husbands out first before marriage. I know of a Tobagan friend who held a Canadian Citizenship, who went to another part of the Caribbean for a vacation and met a man she fell in love with. She loved the sex he gave her and she came back to Canada madly in love. Imagine, I work with this girl for 4 years, and she gets a fairly decent wage, she rarely ever spent money on herself and shopped only at thrift store but this girl surprised me by visiting the caribbean to see this guy on a regular basis and bring all these expensive clothes, cell phone and all, and even when she found out that his girlfriend in the caribbean was having their second child she did not care; anyway she went back and marry this guy and take him away from his baby mother. This man came to Canada and got his citizenship after years of living in Canada, but the baby mother back in the Caribbean had a hard time getting over a foreignor stealing her man and cried for years. I was upset at this Tobagan Canadian friend for stealing another woman's man -taking him away from his children just because she was able to provide him with a Canadian citizenship, and what made me even more upset was she spend more on this man than she spent on herself and kids. Women wake up! We need to set rules and limitations for ourselves! dont blame these men when they decide to leave because we do make a lot of bad judgement and hurt a lot of families when we take these men away from their countries. Immigration must know that this is a two-way street and what goes around comes around. Dont punish these men when they leave you because most of you were not worthy to have and you were only using the Citizenship to keep and control these men.
  28. Andrew Dice Clay from Toronto, Canada writes: Ghetto dude,

    To add to your theory how many of these women are unattractive. How many of the men they meet are attractive.
    Could most of these women falling for someone / something they didn't think was possible in Canada.

    Beauty & the Beast.............who is the Beast????

    Am I shallow...........no, I am realistic. Most of us would like to marry an attractive spouse. You don't go looking for someone ugly do you.

    So these attractive smooth talking beach bums are candy for the vulnerable.
  29. Marvel murray from Hollywood California, Canada writes: I believe that marriage fraud is difficult to prove because I have a lot of friends who are now on their 3 marriage and some of their past marriages only last for a year and they are all citizens. I dont feel that Immigration should adapt any stricter laws because it is us women that should use a little common sense: get to know your future husband first, go visit him many time over years and you will most likely see some of these red flags before they start showing up in the marriage. The 3-year wait waiting period that someone mentioned about US Immigration does not deter marriage fraud but allows one partner to be in control, this lenghty period could also endanger an abuse woman because her husband who is the sponsor could use this period to control her because he knows she will not leave him until the time is 3 years is up.
  30. vanessa griffiths from vancouver, Canada writes: I don't know why the living together requirement isn't 2 years. It seems to be that everywhere else but here. It should be a condition of there ability to obtain status in Canada.
    When i went to South America i recieved a brochure from the Canadian goverment as a solo female traveller warning me of men whose intentions were to get into Canada and were not actually of love. I thought it was really funny at the time, but i guess it really isn't. For anyone that hasn't been swooned over by attractive foreign men before it can be intoxicating, but when it happens often and all with the same lines, it really is not special. They are looking for someone that will take the bait. It is kind of sad, and it does go both ways for men also.
  31. Marvel murray from Canada writes: The Canadian governement is wasting money by printing brouchures to warn women to be careful of foreign men who would marry for intentions rather than love. Their are men in Canada who marry for other things than love also. It is better the governement spend money on educating these women on how to make better choices and even this will not stop a woman from loving who she wants to love.
  32. Kevin Laven from Toronto, Canada writes: vanessa griffiths from vancouver, Canada writes: I don't know why the living together requirement isn't 2 years. It seems to be that everywhere else but here.

    The answer is simple: it's very hard to get temporary status to actually live in Canada (not just visit).

    This is a bit of a circular problem. The only way to be confident a marriage will work is to know each other well. The only way to know each other well is to live in the same country for a reasonable time. The only way to have the right to live in the same country for a reasonable time is to get married.

    Fiancee Visas are the solution - let people live together (or at least in the same country) for a while to see if the relationship will work, and both people are sincere.
  33. N M. from Canada writes: A fraud is a fraud. Blaming the women for falling for it is cruel.

    I was recently on the tripadvisor web site reading the ratings and comments for Boca Chica. One man stated that it was a great place to visit because you could have a beautiful woman every night for free. While offensive, it underscores a point: Cdn men exploit DR women and DR men exploit Cdn women. My sister was just 16 in DR on a family vacation (with mom and dad), a guy who worked there kept hitting on her and even called our room asking for her. Thankfully my sister thought it was nothing more than funny.
  34. G A from Vancouver, Canada writes:
    Reminds me of the phrase 'always buy local'
  35. _ Rangzin from Canada writes: It is very hard to know if there really are 1500 or more victims of marriage fraud each year just because the advocacy group has that many members.
    There is a certain percentage of Canadians who choose to marry foreigners, usually from poor countries because no one in Canada has been able to put up with them. I don't think anyone should be forced to stay in an unhappy or abusive marriage for two years to avoid being deported.
    The Canadian who is sponsoring their spouse has plenty of opportunity to check out their marriage partner in his/her home country, meet their friends, family, find out about their work history etc. The person being sponsored has usually never been to Canada and dosn't have much opportunity to vet their marriage partner so it is not suprising that some of these relationships don't work out.
  36. Another vicious kick right in the face from the Globe to its own credibility, writes: N M. from Canada writes: A fraud is a fraud. Blaming the women for falling for it is cruel.

    ============================

    Dear N M,

    My name is Prince Walabaloo and I am manger of Nigeria Bank of Credits. I have $1,000,000 waiting just for you but first you must please send me $100,000.

    Waiting for your money order so I can send you immediately your $1000000,

    P. Walabaloo
  37. Eric Blair from Dominion of, Canada writes: Funniest part is this is: Performance Artist (that's a profession?) could not see through the performance of another.

    Title for her performance on the hill: 'I'm gullible & its all your fault!'
  38. Marvel murray from Hollywood California, Canada writes: First of all, to the writer who says that we should not blame the women because a fraud is a fraud.

    ask yourself how old are these women.
    you must realize that these women probably had reasons why they could not find love in Canada.
    you must also know that most of these women were in too much of a rush to get a man.
    I truly believe that these women want these men to be punish because they themselves are seen as loosers, by blaming these men and claiming marriage fraud they dont have to deal with calling themselves fools. These women made the choice to want love so badly that they fail to do the right thing. Check out your mate first and let go if the relationship does not work out because only ourselves can be blame for making the wrong choices. Most of these men are probably innocent also because they feel pressured to stay in the relatioship because of the citizenship and when they decide that enough is enough the women run to immigration to try and punish these men.
  39. The sceptic from Canada writes: Awesome Mr. Walabaloo ! :)
  40. BC Philosopher from Canada writes: There are a lot of very valid observations made on both sides of this discussion. Fact is many of the women getting trapped in these situations did so because they rushed in blindly looking for a fairy tale. It sounds harsh but in many cases it is true, a little less willful ignorance and a little more clear thinking would prevent a lot of these from even occuring.

    Getting hyped up on some foreign exotic fantasy and not thinking clearly, you put your Canadian suitors through various stages of rigorous testing to see if he's worthy why not your foreign suitor too? Just because it seems romantic doesn't make it wise.

    Still some will be caught by this there is no denying it, and who are we to mock the foolishness of romance, note I don't say love as there is a big difference. There should be some legislative changes made to give repercussions to this sort of thing for the 'abusing' spouse who gains citizenship, such as a delay period. Fact is no matter how good a faker few would be able to live for say 2 years with a spouse as part of a ploy, it would deter a lot of the would be con artists right from the get go. Not saying thats the best answer but its one option with some merits.
  41. Cindy Green from Toronto, Canada writes: I take full responsibility for my own actions, I have never asked for pity or tried to shrug my responsibilities.I was prepared to be responsible for him as my husband. He was the one who decided to leave 8 weeks after coming to Canada. In light of what I found out about him, we are only asking Immigration to investigate these cases.
    I sent all my proof to them in Feb,2008 and to date I have not had a response. It states in the Immigration Act that if a person misrepresented themselves to gain status they will be investigated. Well I would like to know when that will happen. He lied & misrepresented himself not only to me but to immigration. He lied on the immigration application and in his interview.
    By misrepresenting himself to get to Canada, why should the taxpayer have to be responsible for him as he has access to free health care and all the benefits of living in Canada. They need to act on cases where there is clear cut proof, with documents and all.
    Canadian immigration does not allow for vistors visa from some countries. And there is no such thing as a fiance visa. Immigration needs to review the way they do their business. Canada is the only country that does not have provisions on the permanent resident status.
    Unfortunately it was not covered in the article but this happens to men as well. All cases should be treated fairly. I feel that these con artists committing marriage fraud should not be allowed to stay in our country-as they lied to get here.
  42. N M. from Canada writes: Prince Walabaloo , I admit you made me laugh...

    But my point is, we should protect the vulnerable. Elderly are the special targets of con artists. Do we jeer the elderly? Ah, If only the poor fools had been more cynical.

    And yes, there are some women who will probably do it all over again.
  43. guy tozer from saskatoon, Canada writes: G A from Vancouver. Right on!. Are these women,(and men), so desperate they have to go to a foreign country to find a mate?
  44. Canadian Eh from Canada writes: First, if these people sponsored their spouses and were forced to provide a bond equalling at least one year's living expenses, there would be a lot more forethought about whether to marry a foreigner or not. When people sponsor their spouses, they are advised that they must provide for this immigrant for x amount of years. It is enforced and the sponsors are up in arms about having to actually pay because their spouses have disappeared. Well, that's the cost of doing business. Second, IRPA needs a serious reformation. Scrap it and make comprehensive laws such as limit family reunification to omit criminals and elderly who will not have familial support. Also, do away with the seven levels of appeal. One level should suffice and shorten the time when denials are enforced. Denials/deports should be immediately removed with no chance of recourse and no chance of return. Children of non-status persons should not be given Canadian citizenship when born in Canada and will be removed with their parent should their parents' claim be denied. Front line officers should have the ability to deny bogus refugee claims immediately especially in the case of economic refugees as they do not qualify for entry. Why doesn't Jason Kenney ask his own staff how IRPA should be handled?
  45. M A from Canada writes: Cindy, thank you for your clarification.

    Interesting that Canadian men commenting here either assume that women marrying foreigners are:

    a) much older
    b) ugly and
    c) desperate to get married

    Perhaps they secretly just feel rejected?
  46. John Little from Canada writes: Sue W. and Louden Bellicose are right on in their comments. It is an easy fix and requires little effort to change the laws that cost taxpayers needless expense. I think that the lax measures have a lot to do with the makeup of the immigration boards. How many immigrants from what culture sit on these? Is there a balance of Canadian born citizens and new immigrants. It really makes you wonder as no information seems to be forthcoming on the composition of these boards. It also makes one wonder if the makeup of these boards affects where immigrants come from, given that the greatest % of immigrants are from the middle east, Asia, Africa, India and Pakistan. Is it time for a quota system to bring in some balance? I would suggest that Sue and Louden forward their excellent ideas to Jason Kenney as just posting them on the G&W is limiting your ideas to those who read these posts..
  47. Cindy Green from Toronto, Canada writes: M A, I agree. So what if a person is older or ugly? Does that give these frausters the right to use someone and scar a person emotionally and financially? Instead of bashing, Canadians should stand together and tell the government enough is enough. Investigate and deport these people who misrepresented themselves to get here. Don't let our tax dollars support these people as they have NO RIGHT to be here!
  48. Red Storm Shadow from Vancouver, Canada writes: Canadians should not be travelling to third world countries to search out a mate. If one really wants an exotic foreigner, stick to first world countries where potential mates are not generally so desperate for a ticket out.
  49. Andrew Dice Clay from Toronto, Canada writes: Red Storm,

    Does Russia count.

    I remember an article done on Russian mail order brides doing the same thing to men.
    Ugly looser Canadian man find love with skinny beautiful blond Russian women.
    Then they bring home their purchase and wham the new brides boyfriend soon follows.

    This type of situation probably happens to western men far more than it does to women.
  50. M A from Canada writes: Maybe men from other cultures have something desirable about them that Canadian men lack that women are seeking. Financial stability isn't everything, it just pays the bills.

    However women have to use their reason when it comes to a relationship with someone they don't know well - be it a Canadian OR a foreigner. You can be emotionally and financially hurt equally in both situations.
  51. Another vicious kick right in the face from the Globe to its own credibility, writes: Cindy Green from Toronto, Canada writes: I take full responsibility for my own actions, I have never asked for pity or tried to shrug my responsibilities.I was prepared to be responsible for him as my husband. He was the one who decided to leave 8 weeks after coming to Canada. In light of what I found out about him, we are only asking Immigration to investigate these cases.
    I sent all my proof to them in Feb,2008 and to date I have not had a response. It states in the Immigration Act that if a person misrepresented themselves to gain status they will be investigated.

    ==============

    But he didn't misrepresent himself to gain status. You and he together represented, correctly, that you were married.
  52. Another vicious kick right in the face from the Globe to its own credibility, writes: M A from Canada writes: Maybe men from other cultures have something desirable about them that Canadian men lack that women are seeking.

    ===============

    Low standards?
  53. J W from Canada writes: I disagree with the above posters who can't find it in themselves to empathize with these victims. Eventhough there are bound to be cases where people, stupidly, marry a foreigner after a very short courtship, there are those who are misled over a series of years before they decide to tie the knot! Surely there should be a mechanism to expel fraudsters or, at least, make it more difficult for them to gain residency.
  54. Ghetto Dude from YorkGTA, Canada writes: Red Storm Shadow from Vancouver, when someone's only attraction is that very 'ticket out' as you correctly name, a 22-year-old exotic foreigner should need it to become the mate of a lady who is celebrating her 66th spring. That is why these grandmothers are hurrying to those mating scenes each and every year. Of course they know all sorts of men are available everywhere, but not for them in developed countries. When statistics are too politically correct, profiling becomes a joke.
    A poster here calls facts assumptions, and assumes those who are writing these facts are rejected people. When real data is not published, what is obvious can always be regarded as vague.
  55. M A from Canada writes: Another vicious kick:

    haha good one. But no. I would apply the same logic to a man having a relationship with a woman from a different culture. Clearly they are seeking something that a Canadian woman does not have. All cultures have certain things about them that make their populations in general different from others, just like people. And these qualities may attract some Canadians and repel others.

    What I'm trying to say is, don't judge everyone that has a relationship with a foreigner as a loser, ugly, old, desparate, you name it. Look at all the couples around you where one person is foreign born? Are all the Canadians with a spouse from another country considered to be losers, simply be choosing someone from somewhere else?
  56. Another vicious kick right in the face from Obama to his own myth., writes: M A from Canada writes: Another vicious kick:

    haha good one. But no. I would apply the same logic to a man having a relationship with a woman from a different culture. Clearly they are seeking something that a Canadian woman does not have.

    ===============

    Low standards.
  57. M A from Canada writes: I know lots of Canadians with low standards, we have that in abundance here as well
  58. Another vicious kick right in the face from Obama to his own myth., writes: M A from Canada writes: ... What I'm trying to say is, don't judge everyone that has a relationship with a foreigner as a loser, ugly, old, desparate, you name it....

    ===========================

    I'm certainly not saying that. I'm saying that people who go to a place where poor and desperate young people miraculously find them fascinating they need to grab some common sense and consider what the applicable motivations are. And they need to do so for their own protection, a value I would think they can understand.

    So sure, some innocent and sensible people may get burned by predators, but I'm willing to bet it more often happens to people who fool themselves.
  59. Andrew Dice Clay from Toronto, Canada writes: To bad we didn't live in a society in which marriage is arranged.

    relax.........I am kidding.

    Although its obvious some of us could us the help.
  60. M A from Canada writes: Thank you for intelligently stating your case. I agree.
  61. Shirley Jackson from Oliver, BC, Canada writes: Good article. The ladies are brave to speak out. With 40 million single men in America who speak English, I thought I will date Americans too.

    But Americans pay double taxation at $85,000 family income. That's even if you the spouse don't become an American or live there.

    Plus the police and CSIS must approve of your spouse to get Canadian citizenship.

    Plus your foreign spouse can kidnap your kids and leave Canada -- a global treaty has a clause that legalizes parents kidnapping kids.

    Wow, I did not know that you are liable for social assistance for 3 years!
  62. William Bailey from Canada writes: I wouldn't want people to go away from this thinking that a Canadian citizen can marry a non-citizen and then just bring them over on the next flight. It's a long procedure. I lived in Russia for a few years, and met my wife there. We got married in Russia, but for her to come to Canada we had to: go to the local police and get a printout of her criminal record (a blank sheet); go to an embassy-approved doctor in a city 17 hours away by train and get a full medical checkup to prove that she wouldn't be a burden on the Canadian taxpayer; produce copies of photographs, e-mails, letters, receipts showing joint travel together, visits by relatives, and similar evidence that we actually knew each other and were in a genuine relationship; fill out several brutally long forms listing all our family connections.

    THEN, I had to return to Canada alone and submit all these documents, plus fees totalling around $2000 (head tax was in effect back then) to Canadian immigration officials. If they didn't like what I sent, they could have called my wife to Moscow for an interview to divine her true intentions. Five years later, we're a pretty ordinary Canadian couple, but believe me, the government does check people out first.
  63. CHARLAYNE NELSON from Canada writes: Wow, some of these comments are brutal and really judgemental. We weren't there so it's really hard to stand here and judge these women like we know better. Furthermore, considering that over 50% of Canadian marriages (that is marriages between two Canadian citizens) end in divorce, are we really in a position to look down our noses at these women? i think not. The point is being missed here. People who commit fraud to get into this country shouldn't be allowed to stay. PERIOD.
  64. BC Philosopher from Canada writes: M A,

    You are quite correct there is a bias many people hold against this sort of thing. Personally I feel it can and does work for a lot of people but the article isn't about those it is about the con jobs. The con artists are looking for people likely to fall for their game, they are looking for parties that will be receptive to their play. They give these people exactly what they are looking for and for that reason are so successful. They aren't looking for the confident intelligent women walking with their shoulders back and their heads held high, they aren't looking for a challenge, well some might but thats a matter of their ego.
  65. kevin joncas from Canada writes: Over and over again the truth of "you can't fix stupid"
  66. al-naskh wa al-mansukh from Canada writes: Conditional residency is a terrible idea - it gives the citizen spouse so much power over the foreign spouse. And there will always be marriage fraud, as long as Canada is a great place to live. As someone else suggested - better to make marriage an invalid reason to give someone a visa. Let would-be foreign spouses get in the country on their own merits. Good people have no problem getting permanent resident status. There are plenty of fish in the sea.
  67. Sean Connery from Canada writes: If you're ugly, you're likely being used. Like proud Canadian and true conservative on these forums.
  68. _ Rangzin from Canada writes: I have a feeling it would cost the Canadian tax payers a fortune to investigate and deport the fraudsters. Think about it. How does one provide proof that will stand up in a court of law without an expensive international investigation? Who will be expected to pay for the investigation?
    I sponsored my husband to come to Canada and I knew it was a bit of a craps shoot but I was prepared to take the chance and live with the consequences. I had a good long think about everything that could go wrong before I submitted the documents. Five years later I can say it was a good decision but sponsoring a spouse especially from a different culture is a road fraught with incredible challenges for both parties even if it is a genuine "love match".
  69. Witty Name from Canada writes: Sue W from Canada writes: CIC needs to get it's act together and adopt similiar rules regarding a minimum residency requirement of immigrant spouses as U.S. and Australia. How difficult can it be...just ask to borrow the procedures manual from their immigration agencies.

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    CIC doesn't have the power to change those sorts of requirements. Any sort of the minimum requirement has to be put in place through legislation. That is up to the House of Commons. The best CIC can do is change how they interpret legislation and provide services, but their interpretation of the legislation can still be challenged in court.
  70. Paul Thompson from Canada writes: You hit the nail on the head kevin.
  71. Ghetto Dude from YorkGTA, Canada writes: This article is not about con men, is not about immigration and citizenship, and is not about interratial marriages. It is an anecdotal essay about two ladies' adventures. And they are not the only ones.
    Those imported bridegrooms, who are generally school drop-outs, are not armed with the required skills to commit scam in a foreign country, in the first place. All the paperwork is completed by their Canadian spouses. I suggest these articles provide more data about these couples, so that everyone understands the majority are "destined to fail" marriages. No con men involved, this is the story of volunteer victims placing their bets on miraculous outcomes. Does anyone sympathise with people kidnapped in Nigeria while trying to collect a promised 10 million dollars?
    Delaying the citizenships of all immigrants will terribly harm decent people. The application process for PR takes 3-5 years in our home countries, that itself is a difficult period. After the PR status, that 3-year period for the citizenship is at least 1,095 days spent in Canada. Our days abroad do not count. Processing the application takes a full year. So it takes another 5 years in average after the PR status, if everything is alright. Human life is not made up of 100 5-year periods.
    Interratial marriages do work very well. We have lots of such families around but none of them is based on a "chemistry in a 3rd world vacation village" story. The technical difference is that, nobody is sponsoring anybody: successful such families are immigrants to Canada irrespective of their marriages.
    I, too, support the idea of delaying the PR status of spouses imported to Canada. This alone will significantly reduce the amount of such incidents.
  72. Canadian Eh from Canada writes: Ghetto Dude from YorkGTA, Canada writes: This article is not about con men, is not about immigration and citizenship, and is not about interratial marriages.

    Well, you have one thing right. It is not about interracial marriages. It has nothing to do with that. It's about Canada's immigration system failing miserably. Canada's system needs a complete overhaul. IRPA is sorely lacking. Loopholes need to be closed and the permanent residence requirements need to be extended before citizenship is bestowed. Also, Canada needs less levels of appeal and quicker deportation.

    You also state that "No con men involved, this is the story of volunteer victims placing their bets on miraculous outcomes". There are con men out there who prey on innocent victims to obtain residency and then run at the first chance. I've seen it first hand.
  73. Baad Daddy from small town somewhere, Canada writes: In my small town lots of people come home with foreign husbands and wives... and it invariably never works out. Finding a Canadian willing to take you home to Canada is like winning the lottery in many countries. People are not even aware that they are deceiving themselves that this person really loves them. Almost like an impoverished person not loving at millionairee; or at least pretending to.
  74. Ghetto Dude from YorkGTA, Canada writes: Canadian Eh, this discussion does not create two camps actually, everybody agrees on many points. But my only objection to your posting will be that, "innocent victims" and "con men" are not well described.
    Would you refer to a 66-year-old well-educated lady as innocent, when, in some distant 3rd world country she frequents, she falls in love with a 22-year-old starving waiter who is semi-illiterate even in his native language? And is this the con man profile in your mind? When that pretended reciprocation of chemistry thing proves to be non-existent, what do you want the government to do? Pelt the guy? The article explains the legal difficulties of putting the blame on one party.
    As for the loopholes, well, you seem to be absolutely right. I am the only one I know around who passed that real English exam before immigrating here and avoided those disgracing what-is-your-name classes. I see lots of "Canadian citizens" who say they are regularly attending language classes for 10 years, and I, having arrived 6 months ago, am simplifying my discourse to enable those friends to understand what I say. Canada, instead of trying to teach everybody English for free, should really require that exam perhaps.
  75. May Spence from Canada writes: Citizenship is too cheap in this country. Why can't you immediately deport a man or woman who only lives a few months with the spouse? We need a complete overhaul of immigration legislation in this country. I would make 5 years residency a requirement before getting permanent residency, and 10 years continuous residency before getting citizenship. If an immigrant committed a crime after gaining citizenship, I would sentence him/her and deport them once their sentence was over. If the out of control courts got in the way, I would change the charter of rights-- that pandora's box Trudeau gave us. I would not immediately hand out health cards either. That is probably the reason our health care is in such a shambles. Too many people accessing free health care that didn't pay into it.
  76. Canadian Eh from Canada writes: Ghetto Dude from YorkGTA, Canada writes: When that pretended reciprocation of chemistry thing proves to be non-existent, what do you want the government to do? Pelt the guy?

    No. If it is pretended and non-existent, he should be deported. If it's pretended, he/she used the individual to obtain illegal residency in Canada.

    Also, Ghetto Dude writes: I see lots of "Canadian citizens" who say they are regularly attending language classes for 10 years, and I, having arrived 6 months ago, am simplifying my discourse to enable those friends to understand what I say. Canada, instead of trying to teach everybody English for free, should really require that exam perhaps.
    You're absolutely correct that a language exam should be required. That's what Jason Kenney is proposing to Parliament. He's backing legislation that would require permanent residents to be fluent in English or French in order to become citizens. Bravo Mr. Kenney!
  77. garth mckenzie from Canada writes: @Josh Taylor, liberal mush-head, how about YOU pay for these dead-beats until we figure out the bad from the worse.

    Canada doesn't need more pimps and drug dealers. We should ban marriage-immigration from these deadbeat countries in the first place.
  78. Chrissy Simon from Canada writes: The simple solution to this problem is to just stop marriage immigration. At the very least it would save dimwits like the ones in this article from themselves, and if they truly couldn't live without their third world soulmate, they'd be free to move to his country. (However, something tells me very few of these men would be rushing off to marry Canadian women if they didn't get a ticket to Canada with every bride.)
  79. Darren X3 from Toronto, Canada writes: Well, as long as these aren't same sex marriages, everything must be alright.
  80. _ Rangzin from Canada writes: I have a friend from a developing country in Asia who ran a sucessful business in his home country. He met a woman from Europe and after a years courtship they married and she sponsored him to go to Europe. After 6 months she asked him to move out because she didn't realize how hard it would be for him to adapt to European life and she was burned out. She is happy for him to stay in her country. He is a hard worker, pays his way and will make a good citizen of his new homeland. With the cost of living in Europe his savings are gone so he can't just go back to Asia and start off where he left off. Should someone like him be deported because the marriage didn't work out during the first year?
    I also think we need to be careful if we change the rules that vulnerable immigrants are not trapped in abusive relationships by residency requirements. I am certain that there are far more creeps and wierdo's bringing mail order brides/husbands that they feel they will more easily control than a Canadian spouse than there are fraudsters.
    There are also the dowry scams where Candian guys go to India and marry women in exchange for large dowries. When the women get here they find out their husband dosn't want them and sometimes the husbands are very abusive and demanding more dowry money.
    I don't think it is fair to change the rules dramatically if only a vey small percentage of marriages are fraud on the part of the sponsored person. I feel sorry for these women but I think they should really think about how the changes they want because they were embarassed and want revenge or "justice" will effect others.
  81. Anna Korenova from Czech Republic writes: What exactly do these women want? Why should the government (and the taxpayers) be responsible for their bad judgement? Should it now be more difficult for other people to bring their bona fide spouses to Canada just because these two lack common sense?
  82. inside view from Canada writes: Rest assured these absentee immigrants, and hundreds of thousands of other Canadians of convenience will resurface when they need healthcare or a government paid pension.
  83. Not so simple from Canada writes: Changing the laws would mean changing at least the regulations if not the immigration act which would require a political decision by parliament, not just a policy change by the immigration department. Write to your MP. There used to be a fiance provision years ago, but it was ditched - maybe because there was so much opportunity for fraud if people didn't actually have to hold a ceremony?

    CBSA could crack down on marriage fraudsters but they would need a lot more money for that, and for their minister to make that a priority (after terrorists and criminals).

    I wonder how many applications of overseas husbands and wives are refused because the visa officer is convinced that the Canadian is being defrauded only to have the Canadian raise all kinds of hell because his or her 'right' to bring over a spouse is not being met. Probably the same Canadian who would demand action if that spouse then left them upon arrival in Canada.
  84. Liz Robinson from Veracruz, Mexico writes: As a Canadian, I must say that the way too many Canadian & American girls behave down here in Mexico when they come for spring break or holidays is truly shameful. I really believe after living here for 27 years that any decent, serious Mexican men would actually fear having anything to do with them.

    Not all Mexicans want to leave their country and move to Canada, no matter what the benefits are. Most Mexicans adore their own country, and the last thing they want to do is leave it. Once they are in Canada, they yearn for their homeland. I know. I was married to one for 18 years, and after that, I married another Mexican, we've been together for 10 yeras and the subject of moving to Canada has never been brought up. We are quite fine down here thank you very much.



    .
  85. Liz Robinson from Veracruz, Mexico writes: ....even with the flu floatin around who knows where.
  86. Loudan Bellicose from Canada writes: The best policy would be to stop all immigration until we have a viable policy or until we find out if we even need immigrants.
    I suspect that immigration today is harmful and not needed.
  87. Kublah Khan from Canada writes: Canadian Citizenship is fast becoming a joke! We might as well give out certificates of Citizenship in boxes of corn flakes! The Tamil protests in Toronto the past few weeks underline the problems that Canada will face in the future, millions of immigrants who care far more about their native country than they do about Canada!
  88. just my thought from Ontario, Canada writes: you live in Vancouver and said alway buy local.. Good luck on that
  89. just my thought from Ontario, Canada writes: you live in Vancouver and said always buy local- good luck with that
  90. N M. from Canada writes: Some of these comments are xenophobic. Let's stop all immigration??? All Canadians are imigrants (I'm fifth gen scottish). The Tamils care more about their native country??? Anyone who's left family behind cares. Being a Canadian does not make us better than an 'immigrant.' We're only better than the fraudsters, which is what the article is about.
  91. Whitney Dodman from Waterloo, Canada writes: Cindy, I agree.

    I should be able to get a woman from another country, take her for a test drive and have her deported if she does not live up to my expectations. <- sarcasm

    You cannot have a good marriage when it is based on such a huge disparity of wealth. <- that is a period

    Marrying people for 'Love' from a desperately poor country is just plain wrong! It's like having a slave or a pet. Partners are equals and you cannot be equal when you have an ace like deportation up your sleeve.

    I appreciate your going public to educate people. All people including Mr. Millionaire in Quebec should be fully aware of the consequences of a marriage of disparity.

    If I had my druthers, I'd let all the islanders immigrate to the first world and see just how much fun the DR or Cuba is without the slaves that we keep poor so we can have fun in the sun! Good luck tipping your white maid with a peso!

    Buy Canadian Beef!
  92. rm Nickel from ex ott, Canada writes: Ask about the petty official overseas who has to referee these situations? When the well embedded official learns that the prospective wife is a known sex trade worker and this is the putative husbands' third go round with young Indo women and try to stop it, the visa officer is paralyzed by a torrent of paper work to put a halt to the travesty. When said official observes in a bar, a rather plain Prairie professional nurse heavy petting a cabana boy, who is illiterate in his own country and stalls processing on grounds of merit; the visa officer is accused of racism or other silly allegations [NW]. Just accept the fact fellow citizens, there is no Canadian Visa Officer who has worked in developing countries that has not participated in the buying and selling of women and children and there is nothing currently in the legislation that meaningfully prevents that.
    When interviewing overseas one is obliged to exercise triage. Every family class refusal is subject to appeal and requires about one person day of work to manufacture all the forms for the Appeal Board. In many visa offices one would have almost 50% of the cases fall into the fraud category. It is simply impossible to function if every one of those is challenged and so only the more egregious are refused. I'd guess every one of those refusals gets slandered by allegations or innuendo of "racism/zenophobia" by resident demagogues. And so CIC flounders forward?
  93. Whitney Dodman from Waterloo, Canada writes: I must also add that it is super easy to 'Fall in Love' in paradise. You're not working or paying bills. There is no traffic or stress. Just fun in the sun. I'd love to live in Cuba if I could stay at a resort, but the truth is that life in these countries is very difficult.

    Besides, you cannot emigrate to Cuba unless you marry a national. Imagine telling your poor, young, hot, new Cuban wife that she is not going to Canada but is now going to be a farmer's wife! She'd cut your throat on the wedding night!
  94. Poppi Rico from Toronto, Canada writes: I think people should live together in their future spouse's home country for at least a year.
    Not here because we might never get rid of them.
    If this is not possible or desirable, the prospective spouse should have to pass a brief lie detector test.

    Are you single?
    Do you love her/him?
    Are you using her/him for citizenship?
    Do you want to be with her/him forever?
  95. Poppi Rico from Toronto, Canada writes: Actually, do the lie detector test regardless.
  96. Whitney Dodman from Waterloo, Canada writes: How about they immigrate here single with the person who loves them sponsoring them. Get them full citizenship and then court them on a level playing field.

    And why wouldn't you send money to his family back home? These people are sometimes taking a bullet putting out to somebody they don't love just so they can help their loved ones back home. The least you could do is help them with that.
  97. Poppi Rico from Toronto, Canada writes: Next time do the background check before the wedding, not after he leaves you.

    When they are deported, give the bill to the one who brought them here.
    They are the ones who were defrauded, not us.
  98. Alex ALEX from Russian Federation writes: Several years ago a Canadian man while working in East Europe (Prage) fathered a child with a local girl...After comming back to Canada he applied to immigration to sponsor both to Canada - the day both came he testified in the airport he is able to sponsor only his child, not the mother of the child - 2 year old got residence permit immidiatelly and given to him and her mother was turned back.
  99. Ivan Wilson from Canada writes: Alex ALEX from Russian Federation writes: lies and urban legends.
  100. Alex ALEX from Russian Federation writes: Ivan Wilson from Canada writes: Alex ALEX from Russian Federation writes: lies and urban legends. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Are you sure, Ivan?....I have been working for several years as a foreign real estate consultant - when Russians are buying realty abroad they usually want to know such things as visa oppottunities, immigration opportunities, establishing buisiness rights and so legal side of all those matter....We have contacts with immigration lawers nearly in 14 countries of the world including USA and Canada....Not yet frightend?...This story was told me by one of canadian immigration lawyers. I ofcourse do not know which year and which airport of your country it happened - you say it is legend? - may be, but I doubt...Lies?-want to insult me?... Now to the topic - one of the most cruel things in immigration law of Canada and USA is a point that while a family of prospective immigrants is given immigration visa to Canada (the same with USA) - only ONE family member is considered MAIN APPLICANT - others -a spouse and kids are always DEPENDANTS. Main applicant can arrive alone and get permanent landind status (subsiqintly in 3 years a citizenship (Canada)) - a spouse and kids as dependents can come NOT with main applicant, BUT IN THIS CASE they would be granted landing ONLY IF MAIN APPLICANT SHOW UP in the airport and attest again that the family unit is intact...This particular point gives enormous opportunities for main applicant (who is mainly a man since very often this status is connected to prospective imployment) to keep his wife in total control if relationship is braking (and the application process takes around 2 years)...There were NUMEROUS cases of abuse because of this particular issue....Still the easiest way to solve the problem - to give MAIN APPLICANT's status to both spouses NEVER ARISE thanks to likes of you.
  101. Anna Korenova from Czech Republic writes: Alex, this is very interesting - 2 years to process an application?I just sponsored my husband and he received his immigration visa within 2 months of application - which immigration lawyer are you using? By the way, Prague is in Central Europe.
  102. Alex ALEX from Russian Federation writes: Anna, thank you for reading - in your case you are already in Canada sponsoring your husband. If a family is planing to immigrate to Canada from zero level - it is all the different story, finding an employer, employer sending application to Canadian authorities to get response that there are no Canadians for particular job, then applying to the embassy in Moscow, then medical examination, several interviews and then not the next day they go....there are other options to go through the process etc...and do not forget - you are nice people from Prage and we are Russian beasts (that means should be interrogated to the very detail) - different things as you understand... ...For example if you had a child with your husband in Prague - both of them would be your dependents - lets say you ask your husband to send your child first (well not enough money for renting bigger appartment or smth and the child needs to start school) -you meet the child in airport - he/she gets permanent landing status and you both are OK...The next month your husband comes but you just do not show up to meet him (quorall for example) - immigration officer will NEVER give him LANDING before you attest to officer in person that your family is intact (despite your husband has immigration visa as your dependant). Although there are talks that you may be fined - those are talks - you are not risking anything - he will be turned back but your child stay with you. The fact that you are legally married means nothing - you claim you are separated, or just you do not want him anymore - that is the horrible result of this point - MAIN APPLICANT. At lest for families with kids BOTH PARENTS SHOULD BE GIVEN MAIN APPLICANT's status back in the country they filed application for visa....Do you agree?
  103. A F from Canada writes: Never mind fraudulent marriages. I know people who have gotten residency/citizenship status through legal routes, but have only lived in (or returned temporarily) to Canada for the MINIMUM amount of time required. They went back as soon as the immigration requirements were fulfilled. THEY DO NOT PAY INCOME TAX IN CANADA.

    They plan on coming back to Canada for retirement, due to "the good lifestyle and good healthcare". And because they appear to be "low-income" or "unemployed", they can qualify for a number of social programs upon their return to Canada! For example, receiving FREE transit tickets.

    I'm sorry, but this makes me sick. I wish I could report these people to an official agency, but unfortunately they have done everything according to the guidelines (e.g. coming back to Canada within x number of years in order to retain their status). IT MAKES ME SICK!!
  104. A F from Canada writes: Oh, and people who come here as "refugees", yet go back to their warm climes during the Canadian winters. How much danger can you possibly be in if you readily go back for 6 months every year?

    Chemo treatments and surgeries in Canada. But make sure they are only scheduled during the summer months here in Canada! Why? Well, I'm gone for 6 months every year during the winter :o(
  105. S G from United States writes: Ghetto Dude from YorkGTA, Canada writes: It is an anecdotal essay about two ladies' adventures. And they are not the only ones. Those imported bridegrooms, who are generally school drop-outs, are not armed with the required skills to commit scam in a foreign country, in the first place. All the paperwork is completed by their Canadian spouses. I suggest these articles provide more data about these couples, so that everyone understands the majority are "destined to fail" marriages. No con men involved, this is the story of volunteer victims placing their bets on miraculous outcomes. ---- My god GhettoDude -- you must know my sister's story -- she = Doctor, he = high school drop out. She = mid-30s He = 10 years younger. He = not smart enough to scam. She = hanging onto the belief that this will work out. Married 6 months ago, she has flipped back and forth about sponsoring to come. Now going to file. Will be one more year before he is in Canada. To me, has failure written all over it. If he were Canadian, she never would have even considered dating him. But she was on holiday, he was the cute boy at the cafe. She knew no one, he showed her around. Within 6 weeks they had decided to get married. She is trying to convince herself that this is the one for her. It is not. But she will not listen to anyone. It will take until he is living with her 24hrs a day for her to realise. I'm pretty sure they will divorce, it will be all her fault. She forced something that should have just been a holiday romance.
  106. A C from Paris, France writes: I am sickened by the closed minded commentary coming from the majority of uninformed posters here. There are other effective remedies to this problem, but that would mean not punishing earnest . And it's all about personal responsability isn't it? That is getting someone who may already be a victim to pay for a skewed system

    All of these poorly thought out rules, particularly the scandalous sponsorship requirements only make life harder for legitimate binational couples to live normal lives together. Having lived through the process once in the past SANS fraud and perhaps a second time in the near future, I probably know more than 99% of the ignorant yahoos spewing off on this board. Before the fascist anti immigration crowd makes their knee jerk comments, you are requested to get an education and THINK before posting.

    The usual xenophobic rants from the usual subjects. Vichy France is alive and well in Canada isn't it AF? Check your facts before posting your clap trap.
  107. _ Rangzin from Canada writes: SG, I am glad you are not my sister! How well do you know the guy to make such damning judgements of his intelligence and character? Ten years is not a very big age gap. It may or may not work out but most of these relationships do work so you may be in for a suprise. It sounds like your sister has thought it over. I think you need to get over the fact that she is just more adventurous than you.
    You don't really sound like a very nice person...
  108. Veritas Canada from Canada writes: Are Canadians not good enough for you?
  109. S G from United States writes: _ Rangzin from Canada writes: It sounds like your sister has thought it over. I think you need to get over the fact that she is just more adventurous than you. You don't really sound like a very nice person... ------------------- My sister went abroad to work at a hospital for 3 months, she has never been outside of Canada for that long before. I live in Argentina -- I have traveled all over the world -- believe me, I'm the more adventurous. The guy lied to her repeatedly -- first he said he was a few credits short of a college degree, then he said he never went to college, then when it came time to actually file the immigration papers and he had to tell the truth, it turned out he never finished grade 10. She is obviously very uncertain about this herself since she's the one that said she might call it off because of that. I only met the guy 4 days before the wedding, and he went out of his way to avoid my mother and myself in the days leading up to the wedding. We were there for 7 days before the wedding. If he was truly interested in being part of the family he would have spent as much time as possible with us. We saw him twice. We only met his parents the night before the wedding. His entire family lied repeatedly and have asked my sister for money repeatedly. My sister married him and 6 days later went back to Canada. He stayed in Africa. Within 2 weeks of being home she decided she wanted to call it off. He sweet-talked her over the phone. She went back and forth for months -- in fact she went and saw a divorce lawyer to find out what would happen, how much it would cost to get a divorce now and how much of her money he would be able to get hold of. Believe me, she is not certain at all as to what she is doing and did not think this through. A woman doesn't marry a guy and then try to file for divorce in absentia less than 60 days later when they have thought things through. He has sweet-talked her again, she says she is filing the immigration papers.
  110. Alex ALEX from Russian Federation writes: S G from United States , I think that the fact that this guy lied a lot doesn't show he is a crook. Show me a man who never tried to look more strong then he really is, more educated then he really is, more rich then he really is etc. while trying to impress a woman - every woman knows it as well as classical literature attests the same. Their family in Africa are also now agitated that he got opportunity to become a Canadian - so their behaviour is also natural. The guy would feel uneasy to spend time with bride's family - since it hard even to imagine what kind of conversation would both sides able to support - such an enormous difference in background and motivation... ... Still all this may not be a problem -they still may have a family and kids etc...As for money which they will have to send to his family to Afrika - believe me they SHOULD - he would be considered a betrayer by his own mother if he would not help - I think even in Canada people would help parents in such situation - can you imagine in Africa ?- extended family ties there are much more strong. Well these are facts which I think you misenterpreted.........Now some more facts which really may be dangerous - if he is very religious and his religion is Islam - your sister has no chances for happy family life unless she follow his religion and all the implications of it (which country do we speak about?)...If your sister is not enough sexy, cool, desirable for him - he will try to desert the marriage...If he really loves, or at least likes her and she'll be understanding - everything will be OK despite his lies, considerable money send back to Afrika etc.... By the way if this guy can sweet-talk her means he is not stupid and can be jentle... But looks like she doesn't love him if she hesitates. I can not imagine even a possibility of a thougt to call off reunification papers by a woman in love... Do you know what is it - a woman in love?...
  111. Ghetto Dude from YorkGTA, Canada writes: S G from United States, do you know where the problem begins? A university graduate being unable to tell a college senior from a secondary school drop-out WITHOUT seeing any credentials, is the actual problem itself.
    If you said to me you were a soprano and asked if Puccini was a soccer player when I made a reference to, I would not bother with any further questions or consider my innocent self lied to. I mean, nothing complicated has been communicated in your sister's case. What is wrong here is not the chosen person, the approach is wrong which will render the same unsuccessful result with the next guy too.
  112. Steve I'm Not an Alberta Redneck from Calgary, Canada writes: M A from Canada writes: "Interesting that Canadian men commenting here either assume that women marrying foreigners are:

    a) much older
    b) ugly and
    c) desperate to get married

    Perhaps they secretly just feel rejected?"

    No, relieved until they realize they'll be footing the bill.
  113. Steve I'm Not an Alberta Redneck from Calgary, Canada writes: Kevin Laven from Toronto, Canada writes: "This article is looking in the wrong direction for a solution.

    If Canada were to institute a Fiancee Visa program........"

    Oh great. Instead of having 1500 cases of fraud, we'll have 1,500,000 tempory visas to police. Some of these guys could earn their pension on this program before they were cut off!
  114. _ Rangzin from Canada writes: SG, I tried posting a reply but it didn't appear on the site. Lets see if this works. My point was there may be cultural differences and taboos which can be difficult to understand.
    Your sister has concerns and doubts which show she has thought it over. She seems to be on the right track by considering the worst case scenarios but it doesn't mean she is making a mistake. She should do just fine. You would have something to worry about if she wasn't at all worried!
  115. _ Rangzin from Canada writes: One last try... SG, I am really not convinced that any fraud is going on. Maybe, maybe not. I am married to a guy I sponsored from an extremely different culture and socio economic background. I have experienced many of the things you are talking about. It takes years to understand all of the subtle intricacies of cultural differences. Argentinean culture is not all that different from our own so you are not necessarily equipped with the experience to adequately judge the situation.
    As Alex said the guy may have just been embarrassed by his lack of education which is why he lied. My husband has the equivalent to a grade two education but that did not stop him from becoming very successful in the construction industry in Canada.
    I don't know what the customs and taboos are regarding relations with in-laws in his culture. It is also possible the family was just very shy to interact with your family. Maybe they are just strange.
    I don't know about the money thing either. Perhaps they really need some financial help. Sending money to the family is expected and appreciated. How best to help can be complicated but the husband should figure it all out after he has been here a while.
    I don't know if dowries are usual in his culture and what if anything is expected of the bride financially.
    Your sister has thought it through if she has had doubts. Doubts are totally normal and expected. You would have something to worry about if she didn't have these concerns.
    A woman I know met a local man while travelling in Asia. After a month long romance they married. As soon as she got back to her home country she had huge doubts. Six months later she flew back to Asia to get a divorce and when she saw him she fell in love all over again. She sponsored him and they are happily raising a family together.

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