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Test your wit

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  1. emilio D from Vancouver, Canada writes: Elite Chinese commandos doing their own version of crouching tigers and not so hidden dragons hand to hand martial art training.
  2. david stevenson from Canada writes: Are you sure this is how Baryshnikov started?
  3. Michael Bartlett from Aurora, writes: Sychronized "Airplane Game" will be a demonstration sport for the 2008 Summer Olympiad.
  4. Michael Bartlett from Aurora, writes: The One-Child policy has lead to some arcane variations in the Chinese craze for ball-room dancing.
  5. Michael Bartlett from Aurora, writes: "Jet-Li Idol" contestants audition en-mass!
  7. ian thompson from Canada writes: It may not look impressive now, but wait til you see 2 billion of us doing this at once!
  8. Matt Crockett from Kitchener, Canada writes: The recent implementation of Waltz Wednesdays has proved successful in increasing troop morale.
  9. Farenheit 451 from Vancouver, Canada writes: Cadets at China's Space Academy learn that 'people power' can't really substitute for an anti-gravity simulator.
  10. Mark Doe from Canada writes: heeeeey Macarana!
  11. Donald Duck from Ottawa, Canada writes: To Heck with 20 km marches, classical dance is the best way to get the troops in shape. However, it has lead to an increase in GIs going AWOL to attend the ballet.....
  12. Rex Reed from Calgary, Canada writes: Everybody was Kung-Fu Fighting
  13. Wanda Aikens from Regina, Canada writes: ...."what is....It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A"!
  14. Michael Bartlett from Aurora, writes: Bruce Lee Charm School and Dance Academy
  15. Out Of Countryman from Washington DC, United States writes: "Mr President, we will have to extend the tour of duty for the existing troops. Our new batch of recruits are going to need more time !!!"
  16. Tax me! I'm Canadian : from Toronto, Canada writes: :
    Welcome to the Mao-Tse-Tung School of Anger Management.
  17. Michael Jonckheere from Calgary, Canada writes: Training for the Chinese Air Force following some major budget cuts.
  18. Craig Williams from Hamilton, Canada writes: Cirque du Soleil goes militia!
  19. Godfried Wasser from Calgary, Canada writes: Fly Like an Eagle
  20. emilio D from Vancouver, Canada writes: Border patrol guards practise how to manhandle individuals who want to immigrate to Canada. "If they try to fly, grab them by their wings, I mean arms."
  21. Barbara R. Slater from Israel writes: Now wave to your mum, and look like you’re having fun.
  22. Jennifer Makkreel from Canada writes: Chinese National Ballet holds open auditions at Beijing Army Base
  23. stuart mckenna from mississauga, Canada writes: The order "OK lads present arms" was obviously not understood !
  24. Kevin E from Calgary, Canada writes: Chinese Army demonstrating their high quality, Chinese made fighter jet simulators for North Korean Government.
  25. J. Toporowski from Parksville, Canada writes: Look out! Bees! They're stinging!
  26. stuart mckenna from mississauga, Canada writes: When asked who wanted to clean the latrines, the new recruits were anxious to impress and to a man they leapt up and shouted "Pick me ! Pick me !"

    (Mee kept his mouth shut !!)
  27. Henry Allen from Toronto, Canada writes: Over-acting auditions being held for lead role in new movie The Life Story Of William Shatner.
  28. jo lo from Toronto, Canada writes: Flaming Homers! Or was it Flaming Moe?
  29. Budge Farris from Canada writes:
    Greens get Gritty for fight with Cons in next election
  30. Budge Farris from Canada writes:
    Homeland habits die hard for L.A.'s North Korean street gangs
  31. Budge Farris from Canada writes:
    "Easy, bro -- I thought I was signing up for tai-chi, not... aiiii-eeeee!!!"
  32. david shepherdson from Canada writes: Dry land training for the synchronized swim team in Saudi Arabia.
  33. Henry Allen from Toronto, Canada writes: "Nausea -- Heartburn -- Indigestion -- Upset Stomach -- Diarrhea"
  34. John W. David from Canada writes: Australia's only export to China - Dwarf Tossing.
  35. Silent Majority from Brampton, Canada writes: Man.........I sure hope that at least one of us gets in to do the part of ''KATO'' in the new Green Hornet series coming ourt soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
  36. Heston L'Abbé from Ottawa, Canada writes: Following it's recent successful nuclear tests, North Korea has begun work on a ballistic missile defense system.
  37. Rod McNabb from S. Gulf Islands, BC, Canada writes: As a lead-up to the Olympics, Chinese Olympic athletes warm up by attempting a Guiness world record: to execute the largest simultaneous judo hip-toss in world history
  38. M N from Edmonton, Canada writes: Simon says 'Help your partner up.'
  39. Str33t 3 from Canada writes: "He's short. So when Mao looks this way I'm going to lift you up, swing you high in the air and you wave. If he's happy we don't have to break bricks with our foreheads tonight."
  40. Seppo Vataja from writes: Show us your 38 Million Dollar happy dance!
  41. emilio D from Vancouver, Canada writes: If worse comes to worse, just scream: " Gung Hey Fat Choy!!!" The Chinese police might decide not to break your arm because you wished him luck.
  42. Henry Allen from Toronto, Canada writes: Alfred, the laundry guy, has a great sense of humour -- cayenne in all the guys' underwear. What a card!
  43. Henry Allen from Toronto, Canada writes: WOWEE, which one of you had tonight's special: boiled cabbage, baked beans, bean salad, hardboiled eggs, cauliflower and beer?
  44. Henry Allen from Toronto, Canada writes: At the tryouts for the national team, members of the Taiwanese Curling Association practise warm-up deliveries. They hope to have ice next year.
  45. R C from Canada writes: China prepares to answer contaminated wheat gluten questions.
  46. james stempien from Abu Dhabi, UAE, Canada writes: Canada keeps the cammandos calm with combat choreograpgy
  47. Andrew E from Rednecksville, Alberta, Canada writes: Why improvisational dance will never be an Olympic event.
  48. Travis Gamble from Regina, Sask., Canada writes: Practicing for the Beijing showing of the "Village People Spectacular"...
  49. Gearhead of Idmonton from Canada writes: The army gets leggy
  50. david duncan from Canada writes: No indecent revealing tites or tu-tus for the Chinese ballet
  51. g c from Canada writes: Ok, hold that pose for just a minute while I change this film...
  52. Arthur Wolting from Canada writes: Chinese Army Paratroopers practice jumping out of an airplane without a parachute (and without an airplane).
  53. J. D. from Peterborough, ON, Canada writes: The Chinese National Ballet Company Presents: Pain Lake.
  54. Derek Mitchell from Simcoe, Canada writes: Dancing With The (Red) Stars!
  55. Derek Mitchell from Simcoe, Canada writes: You put your left foot in,
    You put your left foot out,
    You put your right foot in,
    And you shake it all about.
    You do the hokey pokey etc, etc.
  56. Adrian Haight from Iwakuni, Canada writes: Soaring to Security: Chinese anti-aircraft militarymen prepare for drastic defensive measures during their combat training.
  57. stuart mckenna from mississauga, Canada writes: Like in all organisations, high flyers' attempts at taking off are kept in check by the people around them.
  58. Donald Ripley from beverly hills fl, United States writes: HMMMMMMMM.WHO PUT THE LSD IN THE COFFEEE?
  59. stuart mckenna from mississauga, Canada writes: Trying to emulate the UK army practice of allocating a batman to serve each officer, the Chinese inadvertently came under US comic-strip influence and tried to turn half their recruits into "batmen".
  60. Derek Mitchell from Simcoe, Canada writes: Little Jimmy's action figures didn't look quite as menacing after he had nuke them in the microwave oven for a minute!
  61. Derek Mitchell from Simcoe, Canada writes: Red square dance!
  62. craig allen from Calgary, Canada writes: China's version of the river dance. With a military twist
  63. Sirius B from Lethbridge, alberta, Canada writes: Although the Chinese military ballet was not quite as impressive as, say, the Russian ballet, their interpretation of Tchaikovsky's "The Nutcracker" was impressive in its originality.
  64. Olya Walker from Toronto, Canada writes: The globe's opinion poll on extending materity benefits only show the demograhics of the people who read the G&M. Let's see do white single males want to pay more taxes for extending maternity leave? Hmmm
  65. ryan rankin from Canada writes: ONE-TWO-THREE...... I LOVE YOU!
  66. L Layman from newfieland, Canada writes: So when is the Chiropracter arriving our backs are killing us.
  67. Henry Allen from Toronto, Canada writes: Canada tests its new secret weapon: Edmonton mosquitoes.
  68. vivian morris from Salmon Arm, Canada writes: Official tasters for Hu Jintao's cat.
  69. Imran Syed from Pickering, Canada writes: "Mr. President. The Iraqi National Army."
    (America's Exit Strategy)
  70. James Lewis from Whitby, Canada writes: They're doing Ms Saigon outdoors now?
  71. O Moses from Canada writes: If you really want to know what the Matrix is, you have to take the red pill.
  72. Irene Cornwell from Morinville, Canada writes: They do say once someone is hooked on "the Sound of Music" it's a lifetime thing!
  73. Sarah Anderson from Ottawa, Canada writes: "Everybody wang-chung." Newoffensive strategy for Chinese military.
  74. Henry Allen from Toronto, Canada writes: "Oh, I've got rhythm -- I've got music -- I've got daisies in green pastures -- I've got starlight -- I've got sweet dreams -- I've got my man -- Who could ask for anything more?"
  75. Joseph Dziver from Panama writes: In some countries, just a spoonful of sugar DOESN'T make the medicine go down...
  76. Dan Friedt from Edmonton, Canada writes: OK, so I can't dance.
  77. Gregory Read from Regina, Canada writes: It tastes terrible but it works... Buckley's Mixture.
  78. J S from Canada writes: China's Military Art
  79. liz kravitz from vancouver, Canada writes: they were told many times that they cannot fly but will not give up trying and trying and trying......
  80. Antonio Teixeira from Cuiaba, writes: They are training hard and then I wonder. For what so much! Tomorrow they may come for land and water. Let's see!
  81. Fred Alaggia from Terrace, Canada writes: And in the latest news, Garth Dabrinsky announced plans to produce an all male stage revue of the Kevin Bacon movie, "Foot Loose" using members of the Chinerse military.
  82. Peter Walker from Calgary, Canada writes: Toy Story 4
  83. Kelvin Pearcey from Canada writes: Swing your partner round and round, pick her up and drop her down.
  84. Henri-Leon Solomon from New York, United States writes: Military personnel exhibit overt symptoms of the avian influenza during training operations.
  85. Mike St.Amant from London, Canada writes: That White Ninja better watch out this time!
  86. Tom Connors from Saskatoon, Canada writes: Chicken to China the Chinese Chicken...
  87. Jason Roy from Nova Scotia, Canada writes: Chinese soldiers leased by the Canadian military so there will be enough soldiers to fufill the Liberal prophecy of soldiers with guns in our streets. This way, during the election campaign Dion won't sound any more stupider than he has so far.
  88. John Gauthier from Canada writes: The Chinese Military finally attempts to attract gays for recruitment...the only way they know how.
  89. John Gauthier from Canada writes: Chinese Military tactics 101: when out of regular ammo, use closest soldier.
  90. John Gauthier from Canada writes: With the announcement of China planning to send men to the moon, their military begins testing astronauts in zero gravity in the cheapest way possible.
  91. John Gauthier from Canada writes: Attempts by the Chinese Military to keep their men from ascending to heaven during the rapture.
  92. Derek Mitchell from Simcoe, Canada writes: Caught on film the exact moment of inpact when something horrible went wrong with the crack Chinese paratrooper team. They realise to a man that they had forgotten their parachutes!
  93. Dave Medich from Windsor, Canada writes:

    The "Gay Chinese Levitation Soldier's Party of Canada" celebrates their alliance with the Liberals in the next election.

  94. Greg McWatt from Phelpston, Canada writes: Celine Dion, in an attempt to expand her audience, opens her Las Vegas show in China.
  95. gordon davies from Victoria B.C., Canada writes: Ohhhhhhh that chile was hit.
  96. sue henko from guelph, Canada writes: The Bades of Glory extras go through rigerous dry land training.
  97. P D from Cambridge, Canada writes: New tests with anti-gravity pills testing positive.
  98. Robert Ferguson from Markham, Canada writes: Yes Everything Is Beautiful At The Ballet
  99. Henry Allen from Toronto, Canada writes: We shall leap in wild frenzy until the G&M lets readers select the best of the weekly Test Your Wit.
  100. Jacques Gagné from Montréal, Canada writes: Flying off the handle !
  101. emilio D from Vancouver, Canada writes: If the parachute fails to open, spread your arms and legs and glide to the highest bamboo tree or rhodadendron. One out of 100 men make it!!!
  102. Budge Farris from Canada writes:
    Sanjaya's bodyguards prepare for a new breed of female fan
  103. Budge Farris from Canada writes:
    The terse motto of the new anti-terror squad is, at the same time, a rallying cry for all freedom-loving democracies: Be bad to ji-had!
  104. Budge Farris from Canada writes:
    Like your last one, Henry. Keep up the entertaining campaign!

    FWIW, my vote for the best of the week goes to david stevenson's "Are you sure this is how Baryshnikov started?" Also like Craig Williams' "Cirque du Soleil goes militia!" and Wanda Aikens' "It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A!"
  105. Christine LaRocque from Saint-Jean sur Richelieu, Canada writes: Ladies and gentlemen...Broken Swan Ballet.
  106. Patrick O' Connor from Albany NY, United States writes: "The girls are going to love this new dance-step the Sarge taught us!"
  107. C H from Canada writes: Auditions will take longer than expected for China's next Peter Pan.
  108. Marksy Warksy Parksy from Ottawa, Canada writes: The North Koreans try out an inexpensive nuclear delivery option...
  109. John Dixon from Surrey, Canada writes: The Mayanmar People's Army holding tryouts for the Men's Double Figure Skating team, in the hopes that a medal at the 2010 Olympics will convince the People's Governing Council to allow construction of an actual ice rink.
  110. Kurtis C from Alberta, Canada writes: China's new "DON'T ASK, JUST TELL" policy turns ugly!
  111. Sue James from T.O., Canada writes: Britney Spear's new backup dancers work on their moves.
  112. stuart mckenna from mississauga, Canada writes: How will the US react to the threat of weaponless a.s destruction ?
  113. Luke Mack from Ottawa, Canada writes: Oh My..........That was the worst Chinese food ever !
  114. Perry N from Toronto, Canada writes: Carrie's son's prom

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