By HEATHER MALLICK
Saturday, January 22, 2005
Ribbons are the thing this year so why not overdo it? I have bought a silk shawl made of ribbons and it's the size of a wedding train.
The satin ribbons are attached periodically to a gauze backing that gives the thing a mild sense of structure.
It's from Ports. I gazed at it repeatedly in the fall, each time leaving the store with the dead certainty that I must have that shawl/wrap/drapery; I have so many other flowing garments, I reasoned, one more couldn't hurt. It's not the best argument for superfluity.
But I casually mentioned the thing and I got it for Christmas, so it's hardly my fault.
A quick look through the receipts folder tells me it cost $175, on sale from $350, which I think is a fine price for something I shall thrash about in when I'm an older lady looking glam at parties -- like Alice Munro but without her talent or wisdom.
You have to think of your future, you know.
Also, you have to have something to leave the stepdaughters. It's all very well to give them the house, but what if you don't pop off early and live to be 92?
The kids will be enraged, and rightfully so, cheated of their home because Daddy ran off with a floozy. So what you do is fling some classic garments their way when they visit, which will be weekly if they have any brains.
I like what Ports is doing since it revived itself last year. Its clothes are unique. The colours are always muted yet shriek of expense, like their dark-gold satin sleeveless Jackie O dress with a jewel-marked bodice.
My problem is that I have absolutely nowhere to wear a dress like that; if you do, I can only congratulate you.
This ribbon shawl would be the perfect thing for a cruise, if I didn't regard cruises as hell on water.
It would be just right for a stormy autumn walk in our local ravine, if it were the kind of neighbourhood where people overdress, which, trust me, it isn't.
If no one throws a suitable ribbony-type party, my wrap will be the perfect cover-up for the rest home in which I reside in 2045.
Tea? Why yes, and I'll have a biscuit too. Just let me put my teeth in.