STARS AND DOGS
By ANDREW BELL

Trimark Select Growth - star
Should be safe to poke it. It lay rotting on its side in a swamp for three years and ..... agh, it's moving! The global behemoth looked like a fossil after missing out on commodities. But it came alive last year on hot picks like ING. Watch out for the giant flailing tail, you fool. Sharp enough to gut you like a rancid carp.

CIBC Cdn. Equity Value - dog
It's enough to make you look for some clean sweatpants. Everyone's so much slimmer and more interesting than you. It's an overachieving age; even people from New Brunswick talk in sentences. So some old-fashioned mediocrity is, well, cute. CIBC Canadian Equity Value: another glorious year at the back of the pack.

TD Canadian Equity - star
Knocked-out teeth in a puddle of Molson, overpriced primitive cellphones - some things just say "Canada." Here's another: With 93 per cent of his fund riding on the TSX, manager John Smolinski is big on dreary bank and stinky oil sands. And look at that mound of dirty paper cups: A $100-million bet on Tim Hortons.

Stone & Co. Flagship Growth & Income - dog
Stay out of mining stocks (up 51 per cent last year) and load up on income trusts. Leave one-fifth of the portfolio in cash and ding investors 3.2 per cent. Now there's a winning formula. "Not all balanced funds are created equally," the company chirps. Looks like some were designed on Planet Zog.

CI Signature Select Cdn. - star
There goes your career in porn. Turns out the feller with the watery left eye and $300 camera didn't work for Playboy TV. Kind of obvious, really. Like buying decent stocks that pay dividends. And best of all manager Eric Bushell is ready if the loonie ends up in a torn garbage sack; he's 53-per-cent invested outside Canada.

RBC Life Science & Tech - dog
Wasn't easy losing money when the Nasdaq rose more than 10 per cent. But managers Ray Mawhinney and Vincent Fernandez pulled it off. Seems they missed the move in bigger stocks. Too busy putting frog parts in jars and labelling them, no doubt. Then taking the jars down and relabelling them in a nicer shade of purple crayon.

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Can you ride out the storm?»
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International flavour to spice up your portfolio »
Stars and Dogs »
High MERs needn't be a dirty little secret »
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Article Index Part 1
A page from the pros' playbooks »
On the hunt for a sure bet »
Feeling off-kilter? Time for a rebalancing act »
Putting it off isn't a long-term strategy »
Is your portfolio right for your needs? »
The basics »
ETFs: the new Canadian investment idols »
Keeping the faith in trusts»
You can have too much of a good thing »
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Article Index Part 2

Simple strategies to take away the sting of the taxman’s bite »

Do it yourself — but with a little help »

Borrowing now can pay big-time later »

Open an account, change the world »

Keep those sticky fingers out of the pot »

Time for a cleanup »

Saving the planet, one contribution at a time »

Until death (and taxes) do us part »

She saves, she scores »

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